aku bnci ngn dri aku sndiri ..

.

pic ni, adk ak yg snap . grm gak ak ngn bdk t, tp xpe lh . at least ak bleyh tgk keadaan ak mcm mne tnpa ak sdri . huh . smpai ble la ak nk jd mcm ni ah ? wake up la . x kn nk hnyut cmni je . ak kna cri something yg ak bleyh wat utk mngisi msa lpg ak . erm, adk ak dh offer ak utk bljr mengait . ak x pnah wat pum sblm ni, tp ak nk try lh . msti kna cuba bnda bru kn .

kwn ak ad ckp, bwat mse ni, llaki hnya bleyh djdikn best fren . utk jd lbeyh drpd kwn, x bleyh kot coz ssh nk caye kt mne2 llki skang ni . hahaha . xpe lh, slagi trdaya, ak akn cuba senyum .. ok, papai ~

tiring day.. 21 April 2011 ..

di saat org laen tgh bz wt prprtion utk intrview, ak duk trperuk kt umh . haha . mmg pdn mka ak . slh isi biasiswa utk MARA sgt . hihi . bya lh, yg lps t bya lps lh . ak x nk pkir dh . nwei, dh 2 hri ak mnyepi . ak mnyibukkn dri ak n ak x byarkn ak duk trmnung . lau x, mmg ak akn jd down blk arh ..

em, mse hri khmis bru2 ni . ak tmankn my aunty g kt Lembaga Tabung Haji, dye nk kluarkn wang b4 dye g umrah . mse ktorm smpai kt sne t, no glrn 149 . my aunty's no, no 176 . gilak ! jauh t,sure lme gle mnunggu . my aunty lak g park keta dye kt dpn MPKB , bkn tmpt parking pun . ak dh ckp, try g cri parking len r, tp dye x dga . s0, bya je lh . mse ak ngah mnunggu uh, ak tgk r kt slipar ak, sje je . then ak tgk kt sblh, spupu ak yg duk kt ctu . . ak nk share pe yg ak nmpk . .

bdk yg brumur 4 thun, adk Naqi ..

trgelak ak tgk . dh r ak ktawa kuat gler, smwe org pandang . aduyai . ak mmg x leyh nk control r, lwak gler kzin ak ni . dye wt mka slmba je, x prasn org ngah ktawakn dye . xde prasaan smguh la bdk t . aduyai . then, tmgu nya tmgu, smpai la turn my aunty . 3 mnt cmtu, ursn dye slesai . ak ase sejam lbeyh mnumgu hnya utk ursn slama 3 mnt . erh ! buang mse je ase . ktorm pum kuar r dri bgnn uh n prgi la kt keta . n ni yg ak nmpk . . .

Honda City cik su dikunci tayarnya

haa, kang x psal2 kna knci tyr . ak dh ckp, jgn parking kt ctu, tp dye x dga . ak tau la, ak ni just ad lsen L je, tp ak br test undg2, ak tau la kt mne blh ltk keta, tp cik su pndang remeh pndpt ak . kcik aty tau ! haha .. kbtln ad bench kt ctu . ktorm ddk r . bench t, dh pnuh, coz cik su n 2 orm kzin ak duk kt ctu . so, ak cri bench len r . ddk r kt ctu, byk gak mmt sewel yg knyit mta, mayb dyorm skt mta kowt . sewel ! then, tbe2 ak ase bench yg ak ddk t, brggar ! wey, ape ni ? psing kt blkg, ak nmpk ad orm gle ! bj dye koyak, tmpal sne, tmpal sni, dye pndang je kt muka ak, then dye blah . mse t, ak ingtkn ak dh mti dkrjakn orm gle uh . hah . pucat mka ak mse t, kzin ak ckp r .

ktorm tmgu sejam kt ctu . cik su ak tkot nk g byr kt MPKB t, s0, kna tmgu tok abah ak dtg luh . pastu, ktorm prgi la kt MPKB t, n smntra mnumgu cik su n tok abah g sttle byrn t, smpt r snap pic . .

with Naqi n Najmi

 lps settle smwe t, ktorm blk umh nnk ak . then, ak g amik kzin ak yg bby t kt nursery . jge la si cumel t 4 jam, ye lh . xde orm len dh yg blh jge dye . nnk ak pun x lrt nk dkung dye, brt bdk tu ! ni lh, few pic yg ak smpt snap . . .

dye ngantok dh ni ...

tdo dah ...

mlm t, ak blk kmpung . pas mkn2 kt sne, blk umh. smpai kt umh kul 12 lbeyh . pnat gle, tp ak happy . at least, ak mmg x ingt lgsum kt dye hri t . sbb ak mnyibukkn dri ak ngn byk bnda . mksdnye, everyday ak kna mke sure yg ak bz n ad hal utk dibuat . k lah, enough . ak x kn lupekn 21 April 2011 sbg hri yg plg mmnatkn bwat ak . . . ~

stress..!

tak pernah pun terpikir oleh ku

tak sedikitpun ku bayangkan

kau akan pergi 

tinggalkan ku sendiri

begitu sulit ku bayangkan

begitu sakit ku rasakan

kau akan pergi

tinggalkan ku sendiri

di bawah batu nisan kini 

kau telah sandarkan 

kasih sayang kamu

begitu dalam

sungguh ku tak sanggup

ini terjadi kerna ku sangat cinta

inilah saat terakhir ku

melihat kamu

jatuh air mataku

menangis pilu

hanya mampu ucapkan

selamat jalan kasih

satu jam saja ku tlh bisa 

cintai kamu di hatiku

namun bagiku melupakanmu

butuh waktuku seumur hidup

satu jam saja ku telah bisa

sayangi kamu di hatiku

namun bagiku melupakanmu

butuh waktuku seumur hidup

dinanti ku

lagu ni, xde kaitn ngn sape2 pun . xde kaitn ngn kisah ak, atau kisah sape2 yg ak knl . it's just a song . tp based on this song, ak jd trtnya2, ble ak dh xde nnti, akn ad ke orm yg akn ttp sygkn ak mcm dat guy in this song ? well, ak x nk pningkn kpla pkir sal hal ni tp ble ak dga lgu ni, ak ase sdeyh n trharu . how i wish i'll be like dat lucky girl . . .

huh . actually, skang ak mmg ngah trtkan thp max . honestly, ak x sbr2 utk tmgu april ni hbis . c0z spnjg bln ni, byk bnda brlaku n m0stly,smwe t x dijangka . k lah, ak ad bbrpa psnn utk bbrpa orm ...

to Mr A,

i'm happy coz i get the chance to know you . you have move on . i will move on too . starting from today, i dont want to know any single thing about you . we better act like we have never known each other . thats all from me . thank you for everything .

to my twin ,

3rd of sep 2006, you came into my life n fortunately, that day was our birthday . so, at that moment, the only thing that came across in my mind was, 'he is my twin' . starting from that day, i love you as my twin n will always do . n i hope you will do the same thing after this . forget about yesterday, think about tomorrow ya dear .

to my best friend ,

before we became friends, i was eager to know you because i know you r a special person n i think i dont want to lose the chance to be friend with you. days after days, we became closer n share everything with each other . i love you as my best friend n will always do . i hope you will do the same thing to me after this . forget about yesterday, think about tomorrow ya dear .

to my ex-best friend ,

you came into my life n asked me, 'could you please be part of my life?' .. i was very shocked n surprised when i heard that . yet i thought that you were unique n i'm happy to be friend with you . i do love you as my best friend n still do . you decided to leave me because of that 'feeling', but you still wait for me until now . dont do that . dont ever wait for me, it's not worth it . i hope we will become closer n please be my best friend back . i need you ..

uhh . leganya . haha . dh jd orm mlyu blik . nwei, ak tau la english ak broken, tp ak x ksah lh . bkn nk wt essay utk SPM pun . whaha . ak hrp, orm yg brknaan tu, akn bce entry ni n bce psnn ak utk dyorm tu . 0k lh . i think i need a break 4 few days . ak nk off dlu . when i'm ready, i'll come back . papai ~

aaaaaaaaaaaaargh !

0k lh. 2 hri lps, ak dh bwat entry jiwang kn . x nk dah . pnat r jd 0rm jiwang2 ni . abis tnaga je . stu bnda lg, x nk r jd cengeng . mcm bdk kecik je . bodoh tol ak ni. hihi . nwei, ak bwat entry ni, bkn nk mngata dri sndri sbnanye . sje je . well, ak nk jd 0rm bru . nk brubah totally . hri t, ak ckp je, tp x bwat pun . tp mulai hri ni,ak akn cba lah . biarpun ak tau ssh nk bwat . uwaaa !!!!

ak sdr, ni mgkin blsn Tuhan pd ak sbb ak dh byk kli rject orm tnpa fkir prsaan dyorm . skang, ak sndri direject n ditndang kluar drpd hdup dye t . adooiiii !!! skt la kna tndang wei, trsembam muka ak ni . calar balar dah . tp yg luarn calar, blh sapu ubat . ak x ksh coz ak dh byase trjatuh ni . cuai tol r . tp yg ak x thn, calar kt bhgian dlm r, kt dlm hti ni . xde ubat beb . sob3 . adoiiii !!!

hri ni, kmbar ak, tbe2 bwat scandal dlm fb .

' Nurfarhan Lokman is in a relationship with Benz Ilman Danish '


gilak tol r mmt t . orm dh pkir plik2 sal ktorm . pd hkiktnye, xde pape pun . ktorm kn kmbr, s0, smpai mati pun, akn stay as kmbr . ak x smudh itu mlupakan sseorg . bkn dlm mse 14 hari . mayb 2 o 3 thn . o mayb 4 d rest of my life ak akn stay mcm ni . hahahahha . klau korm bce entry ni, msti korg ingt ak ni x hbis2 ngn ksah sdeyh ak t . msti korg ingt, ak x leyh trima knytaan . 


sbnanye, bkn mcm t . ak blh trima knyataan n ak redha . mgkin ini yg trbaik utk dri ak . tp byase la, mnusia . mlut bleh je ckp, tp nk realisasikn pe yg kluar dri mlut t, mmg ssh . apth lg kaum hawa, hahaha . orm ckp, lau nk lpakn sseorg t, try la sibukkn dri . bwat bnda laen . jgn biarkn dri t trmnung . mslhnya, ak mmg xde keje skang ni . trperuk kt umh je . intrview pum xde . keje pun x . nk kuar pun, xde lsen . last2, duk trmnung, mulalah nk nangis la, ape la . erh !!!


ckp sal xde lsen ni, ak nk share smething la ngn korg . ak ad bwat keje gler bru2 ni . tgk la gmbr ni ek . tp jgn bgtau my parents ! hahahaha 

ngn aishah !

hahaha . ak ase ak dh x bpe btol r due tga hri ni . nwei, lantak r pe pum orm nk ckp . ak akn cba lakukn yg trbaik utk dri ak sndri . korg smwe doakn ak la ye . k lh, dats all from me . papai ~


p/s : kpd awk . awk, sy tau awk dh move on . happy dgn idup awk . awk x yh lh hiraukn sy lgi . stu je yg sy mnta dri awk, tlg doakn spya sy bleyh move on mcm awk gak . one more thing, ape pun yg awk dga psal sy, sy nk awk tau, smpai hri ni, sy stil sygkn awk mcm dlu . x prnh brkurg . 0k lh. papai !

12 days ....

today is 18th april . 18 - 6 = 12 days right ? 12 days . i feel like it has been 12 months after the day . honestly, i dont want to remember the past . let it be . i have to move on . it's just a chapter in the past . i will not close the book . just turn the page because i will definitely need the past to be my guide to face the same problems in the future .

i can say that i want to do this, and then do that . the question is , am i able to do all that ? why is it so hard for me to forget you, huh ? answer me please la . actually, i dont want to forget you . i just want to let you go same as you let me go out of your life easily . i cannot do anything right now . i'm just able to pray to God to give me strength to face all this alone and become my self again .

last night while surfing the internet, i found these tips . . .

ten ways to love 
1 . listen without interrupting 
2 . speak without accusing
3 . give without sparing
4 . pray without ceasing
5 . answer without arguing
6 . share without pretending
7 . enjoy without complaining
8 . trust without wavering
9 . forgive without punishing
10 . promise without forgetting


are these tips useful for me now ??? there's no use at all . maybe, if i found these tips earlier , they may help us . no no no ! no need to regret anything . i just want to share the tips with other people , including you ? (not really) hahaha . i want you to be happy even i'm not part of your happiness . i dont want to hate you . i dont want to blame you . it's all destined like this . i choose to love you in silence because in silence, i find no rejection .


huh . when people walk away from you , let them go . your destiny is never tied to anyone who leaves you , and it doesn't mean they are bad people . it just means that their part in your story is OVER . maybe your part in my story is over , i've lost you , but i dont want to lose other people that i love . so, i pray to God, may all people that take part in my STORY will remain forever in my story and there will not be an expiry date for their part.  

credits to u..

M . A . H . ... thanks 4 all ur advices, ur 0pini0n n ur m0ney . ye lah, awk col sy, mmbebel kat sy bpe jam . hihi . i really appreciate it br0 . credits to u . i help u, u help me . kte sme2 tlg stu sma lain ye . love u fwen ..

 

 

pak cik !

ak ni, gya brckpnye, happy smcm je . tp kt dlm ni, 0nly g0d kn0ws ...

 

sick of crying

tired of trying

yeah i'm smiling

but inside i'm dying 

live must go on ...

stlh 4 hri mnyepi, i'm back . n sbnanye xde sbb pum utk ak updte dis bl0g . sje je . drpd ak duk trmnung mlyan bnda2 yg x pnting, bek ak luah kt cni je . nwei, ak pun bkn nk cpta pblisiti, tlis mcm2 kt cni, nk suh 0rm bce . n0 n0 n0 ! sblm 0rm anggp ak ni jnis 0rm yg ske jaja ksah idup kt 0rm len, 6t ak nk bwat bl0g ni jd bl0g private n 0nly certain pe0ple yg ak prcye je r all0wed t0 read it . tp tatau ble la ...


well, ak x plan utk syg kt sape2 . klau bleh, ak pum x nk syg kt 0rm t . tp dh dtkdirkn dye lh 0rm t, x blh nk wt pape r kn . tp ak ase ckit2 t, ak dh blh lpekn dye k0t . [ ye la tu . ckp je . ] ssh nk bwat . tp ak akn cba . ak x nk dh dliht sbg s0rm gdis yg cengeng n lmah . mayb, dat is my real me . i'll try t0 be str0nger . c0z lau trus-trusn tnjuk yg ak xde smngt nk idup la, n bla23, 4 sure la akn ad 0rm yg ktawakn ak n 4 sure dye happy tgk ak mcm ni . n0 n0 n0 ! ak x kn bnarkn maruah ak dpijk bgtu skali .

 

i'm n0t a perfect pers0n . sdar dri r kn . klau 0rm tgk ak, sure dy0rm akn prasn r ciri-ciri ak ni :

hitam

gemuk

pendek

hodoh

bodoh 

haa . ak x prlukn 0rm len r utk tfsir smwe t . ak sndiri pum bleyh nmpk . hahaha . tp x kesah lh . t semwe cptaan TUHAN n yg psti smwe t dh ckup cntik padaNYA . xde yg lbeyh pntim drpd t kn . mnsia mmg x kn pnah puas ngn ape yg dye ad . ak akui, ak pum mcm t sbb ak mnsia . hihi . 

aduyai,ak still x jd 0rm yg n0rmal ni . dats y ak merapu x tntu psal nih. pape pum, ak cme bgtau realiti . bknnye sje2 nk mngata dri sndri . ak dh pnat idup mcm ni sbnanye . h0bi ak skang, trmnung . n tbe2, ad je air mta yg mngalir kuar . eee!!! ak gli r ngn dri sndiri skang ni . c0z i'm n0t dat type 0f pers0n . yg ak thu, dlu, h0bi ak, ktwa . ish23 . dh jauh ak mnyimpang . wee . where r u NUR FARHAN LOKMAN ???

"awk, sy x nk kwn ngn awk n x nk amik tau sal awk dh . awk kn dh ad 'kwn' bru, x prlukn sy lg . utk pngtahuan awk, sy dh xde rmai kwn dh skang ni . just ad bbrpa 0rm je yg stil jd kwn bek sy . dy0rm jdikn sy pnting dlm idup dy0rm, dy0rm sygkn sy n sy prcyakn dy0rm . sbb t sy nk kwn ngn dy0rm . yg pntim, sy x nk kwn ngn awk . dats all . jgn hbungi sy lg ye . papai ~ "

ni psnn ak utk sse0rg la . tp ak x ckp ak tuju kt sape2 . sape yg trasa t, pndai2 la tke ur acti0n k . hmm, d0nt cry la mek . aduyai . ak ase air mta ak akn hbis lau ak trus-trusn mcm ni . haha . pdhal, ak tau air mta t x kn hbis . ssb t ak nk kuarkn air mta ak ni . wii . mngarut je ak ni . 

ak x ksah . rmai 0rm dh tmgalkn ak . tp ak ttp brsyukur sbb stil ad kwn2 yg sygkn ak n slalu ad d smping ak, x ksh lh mse sng atau ssh . yg plg pntim, ak ad MY SUNSHINE !

i love you my SUNSHINE!

0rm ckp, ksh syg blh luntur, blh pudar n hilang . tp ak tau, ksh syg ak utk my SUNSHINE x kn prnh brkurg n hilang bwat slame2nye sbb dye mmg lyk utk dpt ksh syg drpd ak . pd 0rm yg dtg skjp dlm idup ak, s0ry arh . x slamanya tmpt t dikhaskn utk awk . 0k lh. dats all . papai ~

:'(

di sini bermulanya pertemuan yang terakhir

kehilangan amat terasa di hati

mungkinkah ini yang tertulis di tangan takdir

ku terima perpisahan ini

dulu kita satu jiwa, satu impian

susah dan senang kita bersama

namun, itu semua hanya sementara

hanya lagu yang menjadi ingatan

hanya lagu yang menjadi kenangan

seandainya masa itu kembali semula

inginku memilikimu lebih dari itu

perpisahan yang tak ku duga telah terjadi

kini kau pergi biar ku sendiri

smpi hti awk tmgalkn sy .dlu awk jnji nk jge n lndngi sy drpd ssiapa pum . even mse kta brcnta dlu, awk x bnarkn pun kwn2 awk brborak ngn sy . sy mmg xde kwn llki laen slain drpd awk . awk lh stu2 nye llki yg sy knl . awk lyn sy ngn baek . sy mmg rse dsyangi . smwe bnda yg sy bwat, msti awk ambk tau . shri x msg ngn awk, idup sy ase mcm x lngkp . sy dga byk dsas dsus yg mngtakan awk ad prmpuan lain, tp awk brsngguh tgaskn kt sy yg hnya sy stu-stunya orm yg awk syg . dan sy prcyakan awk, sbb sy tau awk sygkn sy n x mgkin awk tpu sy . 4 thun kta brcnta . sy setia dgn awk . sy x pdulikn orm laen sbb sy tau hnya awk llki yg sy nk dmpingi seumur hdup sy . awk pun ckp, kalau ad jdoh, awk nk khwin ngn sy . stiap kli awk ckp cmtu, sy ktawa sbb t smua lmbt lg . tp awk mrh sy, awk ckp awk srius n awk sntiasa brdoa spya hbgn kkl shngga ke akhr hyt . ble dga smua jnji awk t, sy agk rgu2 utk prcya pd mlanya . tp ble awk brjnji yg awk akn cba prthnkn hbgn kta n awk akn sntiasa sygkn sy, sy prcya . n sy gak brjnji ngn dri sy yg sy akn syg awk s0rm shja . tgk pe yg awk buat skrg . awk tnggalkn sy tnpa ckp pape . sy cba hbungi awk, tp awk ignore sy . awk tkar no fon bru . sy tatau pe slh sy . knapa awk tpu sy ?????

pon pon. agk2, ksah idup sape la kt ats ni ??? hahahaha . bkn ksah idup ak ek . ni ksh idup smwan yg ak blh anggp mcm kakak kndung ak sndri . kesian kt dye . evry night dye col ak n nangis . ak yg dlahirkn snsitif n mdh nangis, nangis la skali ngn dye . tiap2 mlm kt0rm cmtu . ak x nk dye nangis dh . x kn ad ksudhn c0z ak tau ak x mmbntu kakak ak t (sbb ak tau nangis je, bwat dye tmbh sdeyh ad r).. hihi . s0, ak nk cri cara la, mcm mne ak nk tlg dye spya dye blh kmbli jd kakak ak yg ceria n slalu bg nsihat kt ak ble ak ad mslh .

t la realiti idup . orm llki mmg mcm t kn . evry sngle word yg kluar dr mlut dyorm x blh dprcyai lgsum . t la yg ak blh simpulkn bwat mse ni . dyorm cme tau main-main kn prsaan orm pmpuan je kn . pntingkn dri sndiri . x brhati prut . byk lg ak nk ckp tp ak rse x prlu . c0z smwe llki tau pe skap yg ad dlm dri dyorm t . x yh lh ak critakn plak kt cni . 

mmg stiap mnsia t dtntukn jodoh msing2 olh Allah . n kta pum tatau sape jodoh kta t . n mgkn mmg btol pe yg orm ckp . kta akn dprtemukn dgn orm yg slh sblm dprtemukn ngn orm yg dciptakan utk kta . ak x mnylahkn tkdir klau pmpuan mmg prlukn llki dlm idup dyorm . tp bwat mse ni, ak rse pmpuan blh idup tnpa orm llki . x prlu BOYFRIENDS ! just girlfriends n families! dats en0ugh !

p/s : ak hrp, ak x mnrima nsb yg sme mcm kakak ak ni . . .